It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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