Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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