she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
