The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
