That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
