i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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