i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize