ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
