and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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