and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
is that a dick in a sweater?
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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