Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
