I want to stick my p in your. b.
someone threw a dead crab at me
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
