You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
