Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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