Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
