We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
