I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
