Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
