That's intense
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
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