Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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