didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
