my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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