He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
