He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
