Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
