omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Randomize
