fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
