Kiss
Puke
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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