hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
