My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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