Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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