Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
