let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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