Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
