I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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