the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
