okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
