I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
