I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
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If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
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He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?