Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
