thus making me awesome and them whores
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
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The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
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She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?