Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
