our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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