my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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