they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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