Life is so much better after having sex.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
