Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
