Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
