dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
