Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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