Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
