i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
