He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
