I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize