the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
