The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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