Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Randomize
