I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Randomize
