Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
