Please, let me fuck your mom
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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