who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
