I wannas sexs uuuuu
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
