he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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