drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
