I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize