Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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