Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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