Pappa wants mamma naked
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
bring money and cleavage
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
